My mother is a woman that many would probably describe as strange. You see, while some other women were teaching their daughters how to pretend to be who they are not, in order to snare a man; my mother was teaching me the opposite. You know how many ladies hear, Calm down & get the ring. When you enter house, display your crase? My mother did not tell me that. She told me: - Be you, complete with your own crase - A man who really wants you, despite the crase will marry you - No, that does not mean you should not work on your issues - Do NOT pretend to be someone you are not, because the real you will surface and that will be the end of your marriage. It is not worth it. - One of her favorite examples is If you know you cannot take off your husbands shoes when he comes back from work, everyday for the rest of your life, NEVER start it. You will lead the man to believe a lie. The day you dont do it, they will call family meeting for you. The problem with a number of men is that they LOVE women who lie. They want a woman who never gets angry; never raises her voice; never calls them up on sh*tty behavior; cooks like the love-child of Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson; bakes like a mix of Mary Berry, Paul Hollywood and Lorraine Pascale; never burns food, has never made a mistake in her entire life; sings like Sinach; prays like their mother; and wakes up looking like a hybrid of Agbani Darego, Munachi Abi, Jenifer Lopez and Beyonce. A number of guys will judge a woman on her ACTUAL, but demand that women judge men on their POTENTIAL (aka E go better, Give me time, I am trying). That is, until something goes wrong - aka You knew what you were getting into. You knew I was like this when you married me. As I am, you must take me because I am the man of the house. It is only on rare occasions that I feel sorry for a man who has married a bad woman; a man who says But she was not like this when we were dating. I know Im looking at or hearing from a man who loves women that lie. I always tell such men, At least one person told you that this woman is not half as perfect as she is pretending to be. You CHOSE to close your eyes and ears. You wanted to live in the fantasy of a lie; now youve ended up with an Oscar-winning actress who happens to be a gold-digging witch. Whose fault is that? I cannot count how many men have told me that they walked over a decent FLAWED woman who loved them ... only to end up with a female who takes their money, cheats on them and disrespects them in public. I know of a man who would close from work and go to visit friends DAILY. When those friends needed to go to bed, he would drive all over London till about 2 or 3 in the morning (pubs would have closed by then) - because he was afraid to go home to the wife he married. The wife he was afraid of, had naturally metamorphosed from the paragon of perfection he dated. The marriage wasnt up to a year old. Because some men cannot do without lies, they dont realize how much of a privilege it is for a woman to reveal her imperfections to him. They dont really understand the implication. When a woman exposes her imperfections - her nakedness, as it were - to a particular man, shes saying, Youve done or said something to make me believe that I can trust you. So, I am trusting you not to use this imperfection Im showing you - an aspect of my humanity - against me. Please, dont make me regret it. Some imperfect dude who wants to be judged on his potential will then walk away from such a woman, making her realize that trusting him was one of the greatest mistakes of her life. He would have made her believe that being vulnerable is a grievous sin; something that the next man will invariably pay for. He will leave her so that he can fall into the waiting hands of a liar. And no, this isnt a dig at anyone; before anyone with a guilty conscience gets inspired to attempt a conversation with me. #WifeMaterialMyBehind... -Chi-Chi Nnani-
Posted on: Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:18:58 +0000
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