NESCA News & Notes ________________________________________ Help! My Child Says He “Hates” His Brother. What Can I Do? Posted: 10 Jan 2014 04:52 AM PST From NCLD.org The National Center for Learning Disabilities By Dr. Laura Tagliareni January 5, 2013 I’m a child psychologist, and I get this question a lot from parents of children developing typically as well as from parents of children with attention problems, chronic health issues and other special needs. In every family with more than one child, each member will develop special relationships with one another, which may be influenced by birth order, gender and interests. From early childhood through late adolescence, it’s quite common for siblings to experience some form of rivalry, including arguing, name-calling and teasing. This is developmentally appropriate whether or not a child has a sibling with learning and attention problems. However, when dealing with a challenging issue such as hyperactivity and impulsivity, it’s important to remember that a family is a dynamic unit, so any stressful situation will impact every family member to some extent. Be Prepared for a Variety of Emotions Throughout childhood and adolescence, a typically developing child may face a range of emotions that involve having a sibling with learning and attention issues. For example, your son may resent the time you are out of the home at appointments with his brother, or may feel angry about not receiving as much of your attention as his sibling does. A typically developing child may feel embarrassment over public incidents, concern about a sibling’s well-being, or pressure to be an over-achiever due in part to a sibling’s weaker academic performance. How Much is Too Much? Keep in mind that sibling rivalry is normal. However, when determining what actions to take with your typically developing child, consider that child’s age and the frequency and intensity of negative comments or struggles. If, in a momentary burst of anger, your son yells “I hate you” because his brother won’t share a toy, all that may be needed is a time-out and an apology. But if you notice your son is struggling often or showing a concerning amount of emotional changes, you may want to consider taking him to a therapist, school counselor or a support group for kids who have siblings with special needs. Finding peers with similar situations may help your child explore feelings and work on coping strategies. Ask your child’s teacher or doctor to help you locate a sibling support group. Be a Good Communicator Once you understand that one of your children has special needs, it’s a good idea to share age-appropriate information with your other son about these learning differences. Remember to talk up your child’s strengths to help his brother continue to think positively about him. Be open and honest. Children are less likely to feel uncomfortable or anxious if they understand something and feel empowered to ask you, the expert, questions. Be Consistent To reduce friction between siblings, try to be consistent and set similar expectations with all of your children in terms of rules, responsibilities and discipline. When setting these expectations, it’s important to recognize each of your children’s strengths and not to burden your typically developing child with overly high expectations. Another way to help reduce friction is to carve out a regular time each week to spend alone with your typically developing child. Giving your son some one-on-one attention may help cut down on jealousy about the time you spend working with his brother on learning and attention issues. Look For Teachable Moments Keep an eye out for flare-ups and other incidents you can use as opportunities to work on communication or to emphasize how challenging life can be for all of you, which is why you need to support each other. Over time, with good communication and your unconditional love and support, your children may learn to be patient with each other and tolerant of differences. These values may deepen sibling relationships, which are everlasting. ........................................................... Dr. Laura Tagliareni is a pediatric neuropsychologist in New York City and a clinical instructor at NYU Langone Medical Center. She works with children and adolescents facing a broad range of developmental difficulties, complex medical conditions, emotional challenges, and learning differences in her private practice. Areas of expertise include comprehensive neuropsychological and psychoeducational evaluations, individual and group therapy, bereavement and educational guidance and advocacy. U.S. Departments of Education and Justice Release School Discipline Guidance Package Posted: 10 Jan 2014 04:51 AM PST From ED.gov The U.S. Department of Education January 8, 2014 (Aims to) Enhance School Climate and Improve School Discipline Policies/Practices The U.S. Department of Education (ED), in collaboration with the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), today released a school discipline guidance package that will assist states, districts and schools in developing practices and strategies to enhance school climate, and ensure those policies and practices comply with federal law. Even though incidents of school violence have decreased overall, too many schools are still struggling to create positive, safe environments. Schools can improve safety by making sure that climates are welcoming and that responses to misbehavior are fair, non-discriminatory and effective. Each year, significant numbers of students miss class due to suspensions and expulsions--even for minor infractions of school rules--and students of color and with disabilities are disproportionately impacted. The guidance package provides resources for creating safe and positive school climates, which are essential for boosting student academic success and closing achievement gaps. Effective teaching and learning cannot take place unless students feel safe at school,U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan said. Positive discipline policies can help create safer learning environments without relying heavily on suspensions and expulsions. Schools also must understand their civil rights obligations and avoid unfair disciplinary practices. We need to keep students in class where they can learn. These resources are a step in the right direction.” The resource package consists of four components: The Dear Colleague guidance letter on civil rights and discipline, prepared in conjunction with DOJ, describes how schools can meet their legal obligations under federal law to administer student discipline without discriminating against students on the basis of race, color or national origin; The Guiding Principles document draws from emerging research and best practices to describe three key principles and related action steps that can help guide state and local efforts to improve school climate and school discipline; The Directory of Federal School Climate and Discipline Resources indexes the extensive federal technical assistance and other resources related to school discipline and climate available to schools and districts; and, The Compendium of School Discipline Laws and Regulations, an online catalogue of the laws and regulations related to school discipline in each of the 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, compares laws across states and jurisdictions. A routine school disciplinary infraction should land a student in the principal’s office, not in a police precinct,Attorney General Eric Holder said. This guidance will promote fair and effective disciplinary practices that will make schools safe, supportive and inclusive for all students. By ensuring federal civil rights protections, offering alternatives to exclusionary discipline and providing useful information to school resource officers, we can keep America’s young people safe and on the right path. The guidance package is a resource resulting from a collaborative project—the Supportive School Discipline Initiative (SSDI)—between ED and DOJ. The SSDI, launched in 2011, addresses the school-to-prison pipeline and the disciplinary policies and practices that can push students out of school and into the justice system. The initiative aims to support instead school discipline practices that foster safe, inclusive and positive learning environments while keeping students in school. The Department of Justice enforces Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race or national origin in public schools, and Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color or national origin by schools, law enforcement agencies, and other recipients of federal financial assistance. The guidance package also results from President Obamas Now is the Time proposal to reduce gun violence. It called on ED to collect and disseminate best practices on school discipline policies and to help school districts develop and equitably implement their policies. To both continue ED/DOJ efforts in connection with SSDI and fulfill the administrations commitment to Now is the Time, the guidance package was developed with additional input from civil rights advocates, major education organizations and philanthropic partners. To view the resource documents, visit ed.gov/school-discipline. Guidance Package Dear Colleague Letter Guidance letter prepared with our partners at the U.S. Department of Justice describing how schools can meet their obligations under federal law to administer student discipline without discriminating on the basis of race, color, or national origin. English [PDF, 587] | En español [PDF, 644K] Guiding Principles [PDF, 1MB] Prólogo de Secretario Arne Duncan En español [PDF, 314K] Guidance document which draws from emerging research and best practices to describe three key principles and related action steps that that can help guide state- and locally controlled efforts to improve school climate and school discipline. Directory of Federal School Climate and Discipline Resources [PDF, 1MB] Index of the extensive Federal technical assistance and other resources on school discipline and climate available to schools and districts. Compendium of School Discipline Laws and Regulations Document describing an online tool that catalogues the laws and regulations related to school discipline in each of the 50 States, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico states and compares laws across states and jurisdictions. You can access the description of the Compendium here [PDF, 674K], and you can access the tool itself online. Overview of the Supportive School Discipline Initiative [PDF, 266K] Outline of recent federal efforts on these issues through the inter-agency Supportive School Discipline Initiative. Additional Resources Rethinking School Discipline Remarks of U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan at the Release of the Joint ED-DOJ School Discipline Guidance Package Release, January 8, 2014. The remarks of U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder at the release event are available here. Frequently Asked Questions [FAQs] Frequently Asked Questions document describes the contents of the guidance package, how to get more information and technical assistance about the content of the package, and what the guidance package means for policymakers, district and school leaders, teachers, students, families, and community members. English [PDF, 383K] | En español[PDF, 339K] Postcard/Mini-Factsheet Mini-factsheet provides a brief overview of the contents of the guidance package and how they can be used. English [PDF, 395K] | En español[PDF, 325K] Blog Post Ensuring Discipline that is Fair and Effective You are subscribed to email updates from NESCA News & Notes To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610
Posted on: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 21:10:14 +0000
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