Page 85 of Times Four At my insistence Willy and I keep our love secret so as not to hurt Kitty, even though Willy insists that Kitty had never been and would never be his girlfriend. I insist that we give her time, that when Kitty falls in love with someone else we can come out from the shadows, but Kitty does not fall in love with anyone else. She loves Willy with a single-minded passion that started when they were both children back in that small American town and Kitty is not a person to give up easily on any dream. I think that she suspects that Willy and I are lovers, but she is very careful not to say anything to Willy or to me to bring our love out into the open, so the three of us play out a charade in those last frantic weeks before D-day, with Willy busy on preparations for invasion and Kitty and me delivering planes all over the south of England. It is lucky I know how to fly Spits that day, that I can fly with my eyes closed. I fly blind for most of my journey, because I cry all the way after seeing the Solent empty and knowing that Willy is gone. Even though we all know the invasion is going to happen, has to happen, that empty stretch of water means that my Willy is on his way along with thousands of other soldiers to take back Europe and I don’t know when I will see him again, if I will see him again. My eyes blur again with tears and again I fly blind as I tumble again through that rabbit-hole, back home to my 21st century. The last of the fours Bill watches me over that table number, and asks “Are you back?” I nod slowly and he says “You didn’t even blink that time, you are getting so quick at this.” I smile, but it is a half-hearted effort. Part of me is still back in 1944, crying, flying, thinking about Willy and whether he has jumped yet, whether he is safe. Bill sees my distress and asks “What’s wrong, love? Did something bad happen?” and doesn’t even laugh at me as I do my confused yes/no/yes routine, but instead he waits patiently for me to gather my thoughts and to explain. I tell him about D day and the empty Solent and about trying to fly and cry at the same time. Bill nods, and thinks, and nods, but says nothing. Finally I ask “What do you think?” and he looks at me seriously and says “Well, love, we all have to die.” I am shocked by the heartlessness of his comment and Bill sees it and hurries into speech again “What I mean is, every one of us has to die, it goes with being born, but those healthy young people that you know in that time, heck, even you and me, we all had to die in that War. You do realise that none of us would make old bones in that lifetime? Otherwise, how could we be born in time to meet again now? Except for Trish, because she is much younger than the rest of us, so Pat the tea lady probably survived the war.” Bill lapses back again into thought, looks at me compassionately but then decides not to share any more of his thoughts.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 22:39:29 +0000
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