STOCK MARKET TERMS... CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when youre the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor whos now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 06:26:42 +0000
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