Sometimes life itself can be so daunting that our minds are - TopicsExpress

Sometimes life itself can be so daunting that our minds are clouded, so much that we even blame God for our own mistakes and faults. We are ruthlessly torn between our wants, needs, desires, dreams and our own unworthiness, sin, failings and wickedness. So tumultuous can the changes we encounter be that the slightest respite brings insecurity with it; we cannot feel safe in our own good acts, in moments of peace and joy, we seem to be missing something. What happens is we think one and do another, we wish for one and get another, we ask for one and are given another. We ask for another Caesar and we get a Carpenter, we dream of a mountain of gold and get our own poverty. Our crime isnt that we do not know something is missing or what really is missing, our crime is we ask the wrong person for answers: Ourselves. How can our own hearts give a reply when it does not know itself? How can it discern the mind of God when its own intentions are mysterious to it? Let our gaze therefore turn to God, not with questions but with trust. Our questions should not be expressed with words, but with servitude and love, with the gift of our broken lives, of our many inadequacies, our sins and evils. Our gifts arent supposed to be of Gold, he knows were poor, of holiness, he knows were sinners. Our gifts should be of ourselves; of generosity, of love for Him and our neighbor for his sake. When in the middle of our crises we remove the ears of our hearts from the condemnation passed by our hearts and listen to the voice of God calling us to repentance and mercy, inviting us to accept again the gift of the Sacraments, the gift of sonship, we shall begin to taste a peace and a joy that cannot be altered. A joy not based in our change but in the God who is above all change. We shall be stable then, unchangeable even within our many difficult and painful changes. My heart bleeds Lord for my vileness, for my evils and sins, Be merciful upon my soul. Amen.

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