THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN Hmmm. Where should i start from? The top, middle or bumbum? Well, anywhere go do. I had to look for work today. So, i got dressed. You know, ive got to make a kind of wow impression. Wore my white shirt (thank God for bleach), put on my black trousers (i had to dye the faded parts), polished my shoes (thanks to palm oil), then i crowned the whole look with a black suede blazers (which i borrowed from my paddy). ... I felt so confident that i was bouncing. In fact, i checked my reflection in every cars window. God saved me. A trailer would have cleared me by the road if not for my Jet Lis jump over the car i was using as a mirror. ... I never knew the level of unemployment in the country until when i started applying for jobs. Chai! The money our leaders are shooting, ehmm, i mean looting. There is ......... Anyway, after a 10-hour search for job, the closest to a job i could get was a gatemans post. A whole First-class degree holder like me. I wrote wayec (W.A.E.C) four times, NECO three times. Haba! Na free? Four years in school, plus extra three years (we have to add the ASUU strikes too). All these years and what i could get was a 4-digit salary job. ... I was still thinking when i felt something hit me, then i heard cracking sounds. Lo and behold, i collided with a girl carry crates of eggs! Ha! I don die! The girl shouted. Me sef carried the chorus, Yeh! My own don finish! That was our short song, the girl and i; I don die, My own don finish, for some minutes. Before i could say Chai! There is God o, people don plenty. Some people were asking what happened. Some, seeing me well dressed, asked me to pay up. You should see the amount of sweat on me. Everywhere was soaked with sweat, even my USB in my pants. I started explaining that i dont have money not even money for biscuits but i was stammering so much that the people thought i had turn to Eminem. ... In the midst of the brouhaha, my mind was telling me to run, my brain was telling me to stay. ....... Na so heavy rain started. People started leaving. Oh boy, you should see the way i sped off. I ran so fast that my shadow was left behind, it had to catch up with me on the street to my house. ... And the mess on the blazer? I was so disfigured that i looked like a leopard. ... Tomorrow is another day.
Posted on: Mon, 16 Jun 2014 12:32:46 +0000
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