Talking Pennsylvanian This is for all you non-Pennsylvanians, so you can understand us better. Remember: Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian! About Pennsylvanians: You’ve never referred to Philadelphia as anything but “Philly” and New Jersey has always been “Jersey”. You refer to Pennsylvania as “PA” (pronounced Pee-ay). How many other states do that? “You guys” is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men and women. You know how to respond to the question “Djeetyet?” (Didyoueatyet?) You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Poconos, Tamaqua, Tunkannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, and Monongahela. We know Lancaster is pronounced Lank-aster, not Lan-kaster. You know what a “Mummer” is, and are disappointed if you can’t catch at least highlights of the parade. You know what. “Punxsutawney Phil” is, and what it means if he sees his shadow. The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays. You know how to get ‘rid’ of things and how to read up. You can use the phrase “fire hall wedding reception” and not even bat an eye.You can’t go to a wedding without hearing the “Chicken Dance,” at least one polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian) or “Hava Nagila.” At least five people on your road have electric “candles” in all or most their windows all year long. You know what a “hex sign” is. (I am probably the ONLY person in Arizona with hex signs, Ha!) You know what a “jug handle” is. You know what a “State Store” is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can’t purchase liquor at the mini-mart. You own only 4 condiments: salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup. Words like “hoagie,” “crick,” “chipped ham,” “dippy eggs”, “sticky buns,” “shoo-fly pie,” “lemon sponge pie”, “pierogies” and “pocketbook” actually mean something to you. (That’s PA slang for purse!) You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY find this “barbaric.”) You not only have heard of birch beer, but you know it comes in several colors: red, white, brown, gold. (I am hard pressed to even get semi-decent good cream soda here in Arizona guys, forget good birch beer. Its depressing. These heathens just discovered Tastykakes. Its going to take them time to catch up. No seriously... Tastykakes! Do you know what its like not to be able to get a damn Tastykake? The ones they do have are all the wrong varieties. All I want is a Butterscotch Krumpet. Whats with all these weird new flavors? Stop it) You know several places to purchase or that serve scrapple, summer sausage and hot bacon dressing. You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it. It almost always comes with mustard. (You would not believe what passes for pretzels out here and people look like they want to puke when I put mustard on it!) You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can’t get a really good one outside of PA, except Atlantic City on the boardwalk. You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season. (We get Pennsylvania Dutch Funnel Cake at the State Fair here too. That usually just ends with an hour of me ranting about whats wrong with it and why its just a piss poor imitation.) Customers ask the waitress for “dippy eggs” for breakfast. (I swear NOBODY speaks English out here in Arizona, Tami, Johnnie, Jim, David, Sharun, Sharon! You should hear the lengths I go to in a restaurant trying to get my eggs cooked properly.) You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns (and the first three were consecutive stops on the Reading RR). You know what township, borough, and commonwealth are. You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Maryland or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits. A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them. You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if you now live in the south. Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow. As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were. Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, and Italian names. You know beer doesn’t grow in a garden but you know where to find a beer garden. You also know someone who lives “down the road” You actually understand all of this and send it on to other Pennsylvanians Yeah, it might be time to go home. I am noticing a theme to my posts lately.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 19:54:41 +0000
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