This last 8 months has been awe-inspiring, expressive, intriguing, (at times) outrageous, uplifting and (surprisingly) leaves me yearning for more. I have found the person that I was supposed to be. I have opened old wounds, created brand new ones and stood (figuratively speaking) bare in front of you all in an attempt to be accountable while justifying my actions. I have the greatest people in my life right now, people who are supportive, encouraging, empathetic and sympathetic to the rush of emotions that I find myself drowning in (better known as divorce). I have been wrongfully judged by people who claim to be Christians, unwelcomed from peoples homes and treated as if I was my own version of the plague. I made choices that only I have to live with, nobody else. I own them every. single. day... If I had the chance to redo anything in my life I would pass up the opportunity. All of these factors played their roles in the situational comedy we have all come to know as Rebeccas Life and I am okay with that. Snoring loudly next to me is a man who accepted me for who I was, who I am and who I am yet to be. He has been such a blessing to my cold and sheltered heart. He willingly took on another mans responsibilities without being asked, coerced, or fooled into believing that it was going to be a stroll down easy street. It has not been easy, not for him and most certainly not for myself. I am so grateful that he understands the differences in needs from child to child and that he adapts the best way he can to see that they are always as happy as they can be. He truly has been a blessing that I can not see myself living a single moment without. We made the decision to move into a better school district for the kids, they are all getting signed up for soccer and then football & dance (for Zofree), and we made all of these decisions TOGETHER. We are more than just that couple that met, started dating and then hopped on the trending lets get married wagon. We are two individuals who love, respect and trust one another. Three qualities that are over looked all too often these days (I would know). Most importantly we are a team. Without one another we are independent, we go about our daily lives, carry out our routines alone etc... WITH one another we are interdependent, meaning, we depend on or lean on one another to reach our shared goals. We can accomplish great things alone and oddly enough we find that together we can accomplish twice as much. He actively became my other half, my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, my warm embrace to comfort me, and the ideal role model for all of my children the day he answered my question of Are you sure this is something you want to deal with? I have a lot of baggage at the moment with Kids arent baggage. They are people. They are just as much a part of any relationship as you are, or at least they should be. I think for the first time in a LONG time I was speechless... He was absolutely right, they arent baggage, they are my babies, my little people, MY dependent, resilient, adorable babies that have already been through so much in their short lives. They deserved to be just as happy, if not happier than myself. Needless to say saying our see ya laters for a 9 month period is going to be the final pluck on the strings of my heart. This is his job, this is our life, our house, and our commitment to one another. These kids are our first priority, our happiness flows through them onto other unsuspecting citizens. This man has done more for me (us) in these last few months than I could ever possibly express thanks for. My heart still beats fast when he comes home or when I hear the dual exhaust on his big black jacked up truck getting closer. My heart knows, my mind knows and my soul knows where I want to be for the rest of time. I love this man of mine... I love him more than coffee and snuggles under a blanket of stars... To the moon and back again, to infinity and beyond, forever and ever.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Mar 2014 06:57:00 +0000
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