You know, life is such a precious thing to waste. Life is worth living and nobody should ever make you feel worthless. You have to live life to the fullest. You need to keep moving forward come what may. Your life is too precious to revolve around a a thing, or a person. Perhaps once in your life you had a share like mine, when your life revolved around a person because you were too in love, you gave your all. You gave your best shot because you were happy. You were willing to sacrifice. You were willing to give so much of your time which you can never ever take back. You were too inlove that your world revolved around that person and that person alone, you gave up your routine, you gave up your friends because you always wanted to spend so much of your time with that one person. That one person who screws you over time yet you are still willing to stay. That person who doesnt treat you like a girl yet you are still more than willing to be his girl. That person who makes you feel so worthless yet you still find the worth of being with him. That person who gave you so much to remember, even the negative things, yet you still find yourself missing him. No, Its not obsession. It was just plain love. The love that tries to endure the pain over and over again. Yes it was wrong, but it was the right kind of wrong. You guys dont know these things because I always show a different side, which is the happy side. And no matter how much I know it was already wrong, I always try to defend. But I am tired of putting up a facade just to defend a person. And to answer those who asked, yes, all the things that happened to me can be connected to this. Because I chose this more than anything else. I chose this more than family. You may have misunderstood me. You may have judged me. But its just too late for me to realize that all these is a mistake. Regrets come last they said. There are times that youd learn the hard way. And I am ashamed to admit that after so much learning, I realized I wasted my life and Im holding so much grudge. So much grudge that I am even thinking of committing suicide because I can no longer pester the pain it gives me... I think that that is the only way to run from it. Its at this point when Id think that its better to die than to endure the pain that you dont even deserve. Dont care what people would think coz they dont know the story anyway. They only know the sugarcoated one. Im doing this to end something... To release a certain amount of tension, grudge and pain that I have inside me. Im not saying its a good idea, Im not saying its right. Its totally wrong. I WAS a tough person, but everyone has their boiling point. And Im pushed beyond my limits.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:24:09 +0000
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