A kiss goodnight...I was remembering the last night Anderson Todd Estep was with us and realized again something that I had done his last night with us that at the time hit me as important (but I did not know why). Anderson was laying on the ground, which was not really too strange for him because he would often plop down and stay in whatever position he landed. My crazy, long, lanky, over six foot tall son sprawled out on the living room floor when a perfectly good empty couch was right in front of him...seeing this picture of him in my mind makes me smile. I remember being tired and saying that I was going to bed and leaning down, gently brushing his forehead with my hand, and kissing him on the head as I said, goodnight I love you. When I stood up I had the strangest feeling, one that I did not understand at the time...to be honest one that I chalked up to being overly tired and a sappy emotional Mom! It was only weeks later when this picture replayed in my mind one day as I was missing Anderson that I began to realize its importance. Then again today, as I was thinking about how I would have said goodbye to him if I had known that he was going to leave us...the image of that moment came into my mind...Lord, I cried, I would have wanted to say so many things to him before he left if I had known...I would have wanted him to know how much I loved him, and how he had blessed, impacted and changed who I was for the better...I would have wanted a chance to bless him...then as I saw again what I did that night so many months ago it hit me, my goodnight kiss and words were a blessing. God had once again given me a moment in time that I could keep and treasure. As I sit here tonight I am struck with wondering how many of these types of moments I will miss if I dont accept each day, (one at a time), with my husband, children, family, and friends as the gift from God that these moments are! I confess that I often fight the battle of being distracted over the countless little things that threaten to overwhelm my moments...but for tonight...I will take advantage of three of my moments to bless my husband and children by kissing them goodnight and telling them how much I love them.
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 01:57:51 +0000
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