Friends! Hope you all had a most glorious holiday with your loved ones :) I feel its time to be completely honest with any of you who have been waiting for music... videos ... even possibly an album and I cant thank you enough for your support and for all the love youve given me on my musical journey! I have always lived in a place of enchantment, of trust in all. Have always followed my heart and believed in the universe to lead me and that all of my experiences are gifts, whether challenging, or confusing. When I moved to California at 18, I was confident that despite my very small amount of finances and without a plan at all, I was where I was meant to be… that I would attract all that I needed. For 3 years I lived and travelled in Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Oakland, and then down to Venice, Topanga, and later with my favorite author inland. I made a living working at all sorts of places… gypsy cafes, burning man clothing shops and fancy boutiques in Haight and Ashbury. I busked (played violin on the street or in metros) throughout my whole time in Cali and from this, found opportunities in the commercial world, which lead to a few demos of songs I had written and sung with a friend and immensely talented producer. Within a few months, the song was placed in a DKNY commercial and a few months later, in a glittering rush of excitement I was somehow signing a record contract with WB. Everyone was so inspired, and supportive, enthusiastic about all that would come. I continued to work with my producer on an album (we recorded 15 beautiful songs), created a couple music videos, and played a few shows in LA and then Lollapalooza (to demonstrate my utter lack of experience in the music industry, I had no clue what it was) . I was 20, had a lot of money, and this brilliant fantasy stretching into my future…. Everyone was so proud and I thought I was happy. After a few months, I began to notice changes in the way I thought about life, about others, and my purpose here. My values began to change and I no longer trusted the universe as I had as a child and just a year before. I doubted my abilities, and grew lonely and miserable with the superficiality and constant pressure to impress others… to make them believe I was something different and special. Innately I knew this was not my true nature. I wasn’t raised with the belief that there is anything to prove in the world, but simply to know thy self and to be of service, to be a light and joy to all living beings. My talents were meant to be shared freely and all of a sudden I was thrown into an industry where YouTube views, Facebook followers, and what was “in” and “hip” on the radio, was the focus. This was a heartbreaking but crucial lesson for me. I became increasingly frustrated as I realized it could take years for my music to be released and that all the hype I had encountered at the beginning was simply just that. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my ignorance and naivety and questioned for a while, why I had to go through this experience…. It felt so premature, a bizarre and distant dream with a sad ending. About a year ago, I moved back to rural Pennsylvania to the loving embrace of a family I had taken for granted and in a way abandoned, extraordinarily confused, sad, and disappointed with my self, angered for having been so easily manipulated and for being so trusting. I spent many days taking walks in the forests, finding solace in nature, in family, and in the music students I began to accumulate. I began to accept and find gratitude in the lessons I had learned and will forever learn…. lessons on opening as opposed to hardening and closing up after challenges and pain. The community of people I have attracted here are the most inspiring of any I have met. Herbalists, yogis, beekeepers, painters, weavers, luthiers, music teachers, all mentors who have showered me with love and care and continuously teach me to be present, content, and of course brilliant…. Forever exploding my light and passion! Most of us will not become superstars, have millions of fans across the world, and songs on the radio, interviews on the telly, and so much money we have no idea what to do with ourselves. We all however are genius, gorgeous and extraordinary beyond measure, needed by our communities and families whether we feel it all the time or not. We all came in to this world with nothing and one day will leave with nothing but the joy we may have created while here on earth. I realized how obsessed I became with the idea of success and forgot about the beauty of simplicity and contentment. I was possessed with the notion that (for how ridiculous it sounds) needed to become some sort of household name, and overlooked the absolute beauty and fulfillment I could receive through teaching! Our lives are continuously unfolding, suprising, and at times even seem uneventful. It is these still moments that have often lead me to feel a need to change, move, escape to someplace else, someplace exotic, intoxicating, and so very much cooler than wherever I am. For the first time in a long while, I feel explosive with the sweet joy of gratitude, with the grounding power of this moment right here, with the feeling that “one day” will not come, happiness is not somewhere else in the future, enlightenment and fulfillment is not a destination or a prize received, and that I am whole as I am…. That we all are, that it’s absurd to think otherwise despite society, media, and our culture…. And that we all came into the earth, divinely connected with this in the womb, knowing all we needed would be provided for. To conclude what was meant to be a short heads up of what was really going on in my life….. ☺ I am still signed by WB, trying to get “unsigned”, and hoping for closure on that chapter in my life, I will forever create…. Music, art, movement. Whatever the hell I want, but no I will not bend or twist, or “fix” myself or what I create for anyone’s approval. Especially not with something so delicate and pure as music and art. I will always be sharing my artistic and musical exploration, my dreams and thoughts, and you can check out my Flickr where my art portfolio will continue to blossom and my Soundcloud where I sporadically share loops and little melodies and here! I f you live nearby and would love to take yoga, violin, or songwriting or just chat over tea, check out the site I just made helenaprotopapas.tumblr If you took the time to read this, thank you so much and please share it with anyone you think it might inspire! Thank you beautiful friends for sharing this wild life, this strange and gorgeous earth, this moment with me. Your Helena
Posted on: Thu, 16 Jan 2014 23:53:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015