Warning: The following contains unrestrained honesty and is kinda long. While Id love to believe that all the positive thoughts and ideas inspired by recent tragedies will leave a lasting impact on our world, it is my experience that those kinds of sentiments do not last. I have witnessed deaths and near-death experiences, and its always incredible how people face an awe-inspiring encounter with death, yet quickly slip back into their everyday life seemingly unaffected. It is important that we do not allow ourselves to forget how fragile we are, for it is the fragility that is our majesty. It is our vulnerability that affords us grace. Hope is not lost, but it seems to be waning. It is not my intention to be negative. I am merely trying to work something out through the means available at the moment. The profound sadness in the modern world we’ve built is like a cancer. And Ive seen too many lives claimed by its awful power. So Im writing this as a call to mercy. Its a tough life, and it is brave to feel anything at all. With all the distractions technology affords us, to really embrace an emotion is a fantastic thing. There has been much talk of happiness in my generation. It is often employed as the answer to the age-old question: What is the meaning of life? What is the point of living? Happiness. This is a dangerous idea. Happiness is merely one shade in a life of infinite colors. It is not meant to be lasting. To break it down to its most basic, life is half birth and half death. Although for some people, death is overwhelming and ever-present. Depression haunts many. So putting pressure on ourselves to achieve happiness can actually be a terrible burden. Instead we should embrace sadness, as well as happiness. There is something to be said for joy though. You might be thinking, “Aren’t joy and happiness the same thing?” Almost, but not quite. The distinction is key. (In fact, the blatant discard for how we use words and which words we use is a fundamental problem plaguing our society. Communication, or the lack thereof, is the root cause of all the world’s problems.) Happiness is a word that has been perverted by broken promises of founding fathers and diluted by advertisement agencies. Joy is the source. There is an ember of joy deep in my heart. And at my best, it is a ravenous flame lighting the way as I walk. It is a constant struggle, a consistent war, an intense fight to keep that ember flickering. Lately, it seems low on fuel. It seems the spark that ignites that fire has been doused. I started writing this as a suicide note. I’m not looking sympathy or anything. But suicide has been penetrating my thoughts so often as of late. This is not a cry for help, I assure you. It is an exercise in morbid curiosity and a cathartic task to keep me busy until my mind is alleviated of horrific compulsions. I am lucky to be able to steady myself against a familiar disease. There are many people who haven’t been so lucky. And it is our duty to carry some amount grief with us always. As much as we are able to stomach while living our lives seemingly unaffected. Along with that memory of loss we must try with every ounce of our being to carry with us joy. There is a joy in all of us. Don’t let it be smothered. Don’t let it be beaten out of you. Don’t let it die slowly in darkness. Let it sing. You possess wonderful music. Let it sing. Let it sing out loud.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 12:57:20 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015