TODAY: THREE KINDS OF LISTENERS “If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.” Mark Twain. It was a kings court, the ministers, specialists and artists were seated in their respective places. The king and his ministers had earned quite a name and fame for their wit and wisdom. One daya sage entered the court. He was given a warm welcome. The king asked him: Oh, revered one! May I know what brings you here? We are very happy with your presence here today. The sage replied: Oh King, your court is reputed for wit and wisdom. I have brought three beautiful dolls, and I would like to have an assessment and evaluation of these dolls done by your ministers.” He presented to the king the three dolls. The king then called his senior most minister and gave him the dolls for examination and evaluation. The minister just looked once at the dolls, and commanded a royal messenger to fetch him a thin steel-wire. The minister inserted the wire into the right ear of one of the dolls. The wire came out of the left ear. He kept it aside. He took up another doll and once again passed the wire into its right ear. It came out of the mouth of the doll. He kept that doll in one place. He took up the third doll and inserted the wire. It neither came out of the other ear nor from the mouth. The king and the courtiers were eagerly watching the scene. The minister paid his tributes to the sage, and said: Oh, revered one. Of the three dolls, the third one is the best. The three dolls are actually symbolic of three types of listening. There are three types of listeners, in the world. The first type listens to every word, only to pass it out from the other ear. The second type listen well, remember it well, only to speak out all that they have heard. The third type listen, retain everything they have heard, and treasure it up in their hearts. They are the best type of listeners. The sage congratulated the king and the minister on the successful evaluation of the dolls, blessed them both, and left the court. HOW DO WE LISTEN BEST? 1. Stop Talking Stop. Just listen. When the other person has finished talking, you may need to clarify to ensure you have received their message accurately. 2. Prepare Yourself to Listen Relax. Focus on the speaker. The human mind is easily distracted by other thoughts. Try to put other thoughts out of mind and concentrate on the messages being communicated. 3. Put the Speaker at Ease Help the speaker to feel free to speak. Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them to continue. If it’s face-to-face, maintain eye contact - but don’t stare – to show you are listening to and understanding what is being said. 4. Remove Distractions Focus. Don’t shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails... These behaviours send messages to the speaker that you are bored or distracted. 5. Empathise Try to understand. Let go of preconceived ideas. If the speaker says something you disagree with, wait and construct an argument to counter what is said, but keep an open mind to their views. 6. Be Patient A pause, even a long one, does not necessarily mean the speaker has finished. Sometimes it takes time to formulate what to say and how to say it. Don’t interrupt or finish the sentence for them. 7. Avoid Personal Prejudice Dont become irritated. Dont let the person’s habits or mannerisms distract you from what they are saying. Everybody has a different way of speaking - some people are more nervous or shy than others, some have accents or make excessive arm movements, some people like to pace whilst talking. Focus on what is being said and try to ignore style of delivery. 8. Listen to the Tone Volume and tone add to what someone is saying. A good speaker will use both to their advantage to keep the audience attentive and help you understand what is being said. 9. Listen for Ideas, Not Just Words You need to get the whole picture. One of the most difficult aspects of listening is the ability to link pieces of information to reveal the ideas of others. 10. Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication Gestures, facial expressions, eye-movements can all be important. We listen with our eyes as well as our ears – watch and pick up additional information transmitted via non-verbal communication.
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 05:10:13 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015