This was posted to The East Kingdom page by Sir Arnwulf, It is a great piece that we all should see. The only thing I would add is that once you leave the list, you have accepted the outcome. So if you have questions, ask them right away. Syr Yesungge --------------------------------------------------- How to Have the Calibration Conversation Many times we are not good at asking why a shot we think is good is not registered as good by our opponent. I would like to discuss some ways to have that conversation in a constructive productive manner. The conversation should not be about cheating, personalities, regional differences or any of the other nonsense with which we usually color it. It should not be accusatory. We often avoid this conversation and just hit harder. We need to change that. The discussion should not be about the relative force in the shot. It should be about the technique flaw that caused the blow to not be sufficient. If there was no technique flaw the shot was probably good. It can be as simple as a surface strike with no depth of follow through. It can be as complicated as poorly fitting armor interfacing with imperfect body mechanics. There are three situations here. The first is when the two combatants are pretty equal in social status. The second is when the striker is of higher social status than the struck. The third is when the striker is of lower social status. When the two combatants are of roughly the same social status it should be easy to be honest with each other. Discuss the shot. Come to an agreement or agree to disagree. When the striker is of higher social status he is probably also of higher skill level. The conversation should be gentle and instructional. The striker should ask what happened that I missed? Why did you think I did not get that shot? Stay open minded. Listen. Discuss. Remember to be gracious and careful of the power inherent in the difference in social status. The toughest situation is when the striker is of lower social status and or skill level. This is the situation we handle the worst. We have a culture of respect for status and experience that is overwhelming for the new fighter. Most times the striker is afraid to ask since they do not want to accuse. The struck fighter may not be receptive. He may become angry. Better to suck it up and move on. This is wrong because we lose a teachable moment and fail to hold the struck accountable. All of us miss shots. We have to make this conversation normal and acceptable. My suggested format runs something like this. “In your experience that shot was not sufficient. What did I fail to do that made that shot light? Please enlighten me as to what I can do to improve my technique.” This makes the conversation a teachable moment rather than an accusation. It helps improve technique, leading to fewer of these conversations and a greater comfort level for both parties.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 12:47:29 +0000
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