As a mother you just want to trade places with your child when they are sick with the cold, with the flu, with a scraped knee. Sitting idly by and watching my son so weak and so frail is heart wrenching. I just want to scoop him up in my arms and rock him soothing his aches and pains like I did when he was a baby. He didnt sleep much last night and at 2 in the morning I went in to check on him just to make sure he was ok. He looked at me and said Mommie, now I know how grandpa feels, like crap. I looked at him and told him with tears how sorry I was as I sat down on his bed and told him that if I could trade places with him I would do it in a heart beat. My family is warped with illness my father is on dialysis with kidney and liver failure. I have two nephews that struggle to live a normal life because each of them have life-long health issues. I just cant wrap my head or heart around how unfair this is. I love the moments when my kids come up out of the blue and just say Mommie, I love you! or the moments my son comes up and leans on me wraps his arms around me and says how much he loves me as well. Those moments are the moments that I capture with my heart. We went out today and walked a store having to take frequent sitting breaks as Josh became too weak to walk. I had to get him out of the house. We journeyed over to get him some Chinese at his request and went home where he has spent the majority of his day between the bathroom and lying asleep in his bed. He has grown so much in the past couple of weeks not by choice but because he was thrown back into a situation where he was forced to. We are on day 16 of induction half way through our D-Day timing. I find myself in the car, in the kitchen washing dishes, doing laundry and just praying every moment my son crosses my mind that this chemo is working. Long gone are the days where he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off acting so silly and laughing so hard. I cant wait for those days to come back, and we try but then a frown replaces his smile as he becomes to tired to even laugh. We will NEGU-Never ever give UP!! We love you Josh and we are here to beat cancers hind end and send it back to where it came from!
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 21:20:30 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015