It is impossible to convince a battered wife to leave an abusive husband if she sees no harm in the fisticuffs she has to endure daily. I know! Somehow, I have always had the dubious honor of being invited to mediate in marital disputes. Over time, I have learnt to nod sympathetically, make all the right noises, even offer shelter if that is what the fleeing spouse desires, and yet leave them to go their merry way once they begin to miss their sweethearts, make excuses for the beatings and claim the aggressors were under a spell which a Man of God is trying to help them break. Once or twice, out of a genuine fear for the safety of the battered spouse, especially when I once had the ill luck of having to house one who fled to my house in the wee hours of the night, completely battered in her night gown, baby strapped to her back, I sat up with them till the morning and told them stories of a woman who had the courage to say enough, left a horrible marriage situation and is living happy and healthy with her child, ears blind and eyes deaf to evulz pipulz who come up with all sorts of labels and accusations. After such heartfelt talks, I ask for the numbers of their parents or closest family relations, place a call, and wait patiently for them to come and retrieve their person from my house. Why do I hand over so eagerly? Because a woman in love will ALWAYS return to a violent spouse especially since like a friend of mine once opined, violent men, are s*x machines... what do I know about that? I would not want to know they left my house, straight back into the arms of a violent psychopath and then have to face them calling me after the honeymoon phase wears off again to come and stage another intervention. I have a policy on that - Once only. If you walk back with your eyes wide open, my dear, call your family from where you returned to the mans house. Since I have intimated them of your marital unbliss and they allowed you go back there, they should be available to welcome you back with open arms each time you return. If you call me, I call them to go and retrieve you because I know such women will foolishly, go back. My policy, slap me once playfully, and we will have a sit down talk about it and why i think it should not happen again. I will also mention nicely to you, about my senior red belt in Taekwondo. The choice is now yours to take a chance on trying it a second time. Suffice it to say that I will leave, but one or both of us will have to be admitted for broken bones. If there will be just one admission, it will not be me. Religion is sometimes like a marriage. People feel passionate about whatever sect they align themselves with and even when the symptoms are sooooooo glaring, they refuse to either break free from the shackles that hold them so tightly, or at least, have a sit down talk where you clearly define the rules of engagement going forward. Because interventionists abound, they would rather keep running back and forth, tittle-tattling, complaining, grumbling, bearing rumours, yet going back and not wanting to be identified as complainants or rebels Urge them to speak out, or speak out on their behalf, and you get called all sorts of names and have all sorts of uncomplimentary remarks hurled your way. I call them the Holy Water Parade. It is instructive that Jesus needed to be physically identified by an insider since he could not be differentiated from his apostles. When he needed to pay tax in order to remain compliant to the rules of the land, he caught a fish and extracted the money from the inside of the fish. The only luxuriuous garments he ever wore, were placed on him in mockery of his claims to being King of the Jews. He slept rough, associated with the flotsam and jetsam of society and in one place lamented that ... The Son of Man has no place to lay His head Matt 8:20. I remember at the peak of the Oritsejafor jet saga, I still insist like I insist now, e nor concern me. They do not receive my offerings or tithes. The people who sweat to pay tithes and offerings to support superfluous lifestyles that have no bearings with the Christ we should strive to emulate are not complaining, what is my own there? I am more concerned with those we have elected into power. People who contribute to build schools their children can not afford to attend, who put their hard earned money together to finance maintenance of private jets while still slapping leggedez benz all over the place, who face constant ejection by their landlords while the Men of God have more houses than they know what to do with. I insist, whatever the promises you assure me will come of giving to a church, I will not give to what I cannot explain, I would rather practise what the bible recognises as True Religion ...To care for the widows and orphans in their need. James 1:27. They preach God loves a cheerful giver, but leave out the first instruction in 2 Corinthians 9:7 Each one must give what he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion..... Please, come to my inbox and complain all you may. Someone even dropped by the house yesterday and we had a robust discussion on this. Then go back and empty your account and give all to your pastor because Jesus the money doubler will pay you back a million folds with unexpected contract (which you did not bid for), visa (that you did not apply for) and job (that you do not qualify for). Do all that and then go and start borrowing money to feed, or leech off your friends and relatives while you wait for your miracles to manifest. Please, do! P.S: For the benefit of the Holy Water Parade, I am a born again christian, spirit filled. I, however, am discerning. I know what is right and what is not. If I feel a need to give, I search out people whose lives would be meaningfully touched by my widows mite and I give to them while trying to stick as closely as possible to James 1:27. I do not believe I have to give a large offering or tithe in church for God to notice me. I am a member of a vibrant congregation where I participate actively. It is instructive that I make posts like this, even with my pastor and active members of my parish as friends on facebook. They know what my views are as I am extremely vocal without having to be controversial, and they respect those views. I also view whatever I have to do through the church as having to do it because i want to. I do not act under compulsion or do turn by turn with God (I have given 10 naira, it is your turn now to bless me back, or I swept the church today, oya God bless me in return). If I am led to give N5, I give it. I know that God is not a magician or a money doubler. It is instructive that he makes the rain to fall even on the just and unjust....
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 11:55:52 +0000
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