In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, humans homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Moms toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cats vomited food. 2. I will not jump on the [xxx]. kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my humans full bladder at 5:30 A.M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night. 3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx]. sofa, carpet, drapes, my humans leg, my humans bosss leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires. 4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx]. floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, humans tax return, the tax auditor, TV, babys mattress, kitchen counter, dining room table, big peoples shoes, bathtub, my Dads collection of expensive) Nazi daggers, marble floor acid vomit+marble=etched marble). 5. I will not climb the [xxx]. Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts. 6. I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish. Tissues, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food 7. I will not hide [xxx]. Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet. 8. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist. Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, humans toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear 9. [xxx] is not cat food. Chocolate, bananas, pizza, any human food, tea 10. [xxx] is not a bed. The stove, the pot not hot) on the stove, sink, the crystal bowl from the peoples wedding, piano strings, Mommys sock drawer, the inside of the antique radio, the car, the electric organ, the computer keyboard. 11. [xxx] is not prey/a toy. The paper coming from the printer; the newspaper; Mummy; open milk cartons; toilet paper; pantyhose; paper clips; humans toes; my humans penis see Robin Williams, Live at the Met); Christmas tree ornaments; the produce ripening on the kitchen counter; Q-tips; Black Widow spiders; any food, whether wrapped in something or not; the sheets; the computer mouse; Mommys snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it; 12. I will not try to climb into the [xxx]. Freezer, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, garage.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Apr 2014 11:34:37 +0000
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